So many times in our lives we have to face what seems to be tough decisions. I know for me, there are always 2 things at work - emotion & logic. Although I try to constantly find the balance between the two, there are times when one seems to outweigh the other. During these times there still seems to be a war that brews between my head and my heart. I must remember to take a step back and try to detach emotionally for a few minutes in order to try to get a grasp on the emotions. Unfortunately, the one thing to remember when taking a logical look at emotion is that emotion is often not logical. Sometimes it is, meaning there is some sort of catalyst for the emotion, but sometimes it doesn't make sense. Therefore, taking a logical look at emotion sometimes leads to more questions rather than to answers.
Recently, I had a few issues pop up that left me wanting to throw up my hands. It happened to be at the end of a vacation day I took just to relax. I had managed to have a fantastic vacation day as I had convinced myself not to look at my laptop nor think too much about work. That is until around 9:00 pm when I had finished watching America's Got Talent. I sat and watched some incredible acts and some not so good acts. I also watched people's dreams appear to be shattered as they were sent home. I felt for most of those people as some of them simply had a bad day and I feel we all have bad days from time to time. After the show I logged on to my email and I had only one work email. The email touched on an issue that I had yet to resolve, which led to a discovery of a new meeting on my calendar that I had not seen before. One thing led to another and all of the sudden I was stressed and ready to throw my hands up.
My wife was away at work and as I sat in the dark I thought to myself I needed to relax. I decided to put in a music CD, but it didn't do the trick. I then decided I needed to utilize my old faithful coping skill. I went to what was once the music room and I uncovered my piano. I then sat down and played for over an hour. As I sat and played, thought and vented, I began to calm down. I began to get a handle on my emotions and I began to think my logically about the issues and various outcomes. I also re-evaluated my thoughts and dreams to make sure I was still on track. Although everyone is different, I find personally that quite often the decision itself is not difficult. Oh, sure, there are times when we have to decide between 2 or 3 things and it can be difficult. But I have noticed in my life that it is a choice I make that makes the decision difficult.
Earlier tonight I was putting my 2 year old and 4 year old to bed. As I was reading a book, my 4 year old kept touching the 2 year olds hair. The 2 year old was bothered by it. I asked him to stop and he did, for a few minutes at least. Then I turn around and he's doing the same thing. I spoke with him that ALL he needs to do to NOT get in trouble is simply do what Mommy and Daddy ask him to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Just do what we tell him to do, the first time. As I sat in the dark I realized that there are way too many times when I hear God telling me what to do and I choose to put it off, thinking it doesn't fit into MY plan. THEN the decisions become increasingly more difficult.
So what is this decision that I need to make, or the direction I need to follow? Oddly enough, I'm not sure. You see, the more I try to steer away from His leading, the less I discern that same leading. I believe it's time I get back to my roots though and re-evaluate His calling and direction. My encouragement to you is to just give in. Choose His way . Don't sit in indecision due to your own choice. Instead, listen and follow. That's all we have to do. Listen and follow.