Remembering a Different Future
Everyone seeks to be
emotionally free and determined. But we also want to share our lives with the
important people in our lives. This has been called the intimacy paradox. Can
we have both at the same time? How can we be intimate yet independent from our
parents?
Remembering
a different future means we
can learn to retell the story from our past in this present moment while
opening up new possibilities for healthier behaviors. This means seeing our
past from a new perspective; finding new meanings for old experiences, and
changing pathways that will lead us into the future.
How do we change the meaning of these past experiences? The meanings we already have are meanings we
have chosen. We have told the stories of our lives and have made up the
meanings. So, we can change our own meanings to lead us in the direction we
want to go/travel.
In order to rewrite
the stories of the past, we must restructure our interactions in our present
relationships with our family members. We need to take responsibility for our
own emotions and lives, while allowing our family members to do the same.
LaDonna McBride, Ph.D., LCSW, LMFT
