The Circle of Life

Many years ago the animated movie The Lion King made the song The Circle of Life by Elton John a huge hit. The movie was a great movie and made all of us think about the beauty of life and how death and life must co-exist here on Earth. I am reminded of another Circle of Life though, one that can be either positive or negative on each one of us.

Just yesterday I had a client share that they were molested by their step father when they were younger. They also went on to say that their step fathers excuse was that he only did it to show her how much he loved her. Her brother also took part in the molestations for a while. Years later the brother did seek forgiveness and recognized his wrong doing and my client was able to offer that forgiveness. The client was also able to forgive her step father and her mother for their roles in this as well. Although she is now an adult with a child and grand child of her own, she has held on to a very unhealthy Circle of Life that stems back to that point in time. Although intellectually she knew what her step father said made no sense, she believed it in her heart. She held on to the thought that the only way for a man to "love" her was for her to open up to them sexually. This idea was unintentionally passed down to her oldest daughter. The Circle of Life was one of an unhealthy and completely wrong idea of love. Unless the client finds a way to break that circle and in turn teach her daughter how to break that circle it will continue. In the same way negative ideas and lifestyles can be passed down from generation to generation, so can positive ideas and lifestyles.

If you are caught in a negative Circle of Life that has been passed down from generation to generation then it's time to break that circle and embrace a new future for you and your loved ones. You can only break the cycle by deliberately choosing a healthy and positive lifestyle that is reflected in your personality, attitude, and most importantly your behavior.

Balance

Last night I was riding my motorcycle to lunch and I was thinking about lowering my cholesterol. Don't worry, it's not all that high, but my doctor wanted me to consider medication although I've been able to lower it 10 point through exercise and diet. I got to wondering how I could possibly cut out ALL cholesterol. Anyone who knows me already knows I eat healthy and work out very consistently. I was a bit frustrated thinking how I could possibly cut out cholesterol from my diet. Then it hit me. The word "balance" popped into my head. This isn't the first time. I preach balance to every client that walks in my office, but I've never had it pop up while I was thinking about diet. I realized that lowering cholesterol or losing weight or eating healthy isn't about completely cutting out something. It's about eating a balanced diet.

I began thinking about how our society rewards people for being out of balance. Everyone wants to be the "best" at one thing or another. I'm occasionally asked if I'm the best therapist for a particular situation, my wife is asked if she's the best teacher, we're challenged to be the best parents, the best spouses, etc. When was the last time you were encouraged to be a well rounded person? I can't think of one myself. We don't reward people for being well rounded. Some people might call these people boring or mundane. How sad that we spend our lives seeking to be the best and we miss a lot of just being good and being happy and being balanced. Maybe we should consider changing our lives to reflect a more balanced lifestyle. For those that ARE the best, we should encourage and compliment them, but if we're not, we should still be encouraged and complimented. I think we should DO our best at anything we do, but if we aren't THE best then we shouldn't let that bother us as much as it does.

Embrace being balanced in everything you do. Don't succumb to the hype that if you're not the best you're not worth anything. Try your best to be balanced.